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Sad Baking...

Sometimes when I'm sad, baking is one of the only things to do. Maybe it's the monotony of mixing. Maybe it's the warmth of the oven or the smell of the baked goods.

We are having a rough week at my house. My husband's grandpa is on hospice, and the nurses say we only have days left. He's 96 and has lived an incredible life. But all the same, when you're so used to having someone around like that, you can't imagine life without them.

His grandpa is also an incredibly effusive man who was so open with sharing his love and kindness. Everytime we saw him he'd say "I'd do anything for you. I love you from the bottom of my heart. Never forget that!" I know that the example he led with his love is a huge part of why my husband is so generous with love and affection and I am so grateful for that legacy...

We also got news yesterday that one of my mom's baby brothers died suddenly. He was one of the middle kids in the lineup of 10 and we are all in total shock and disbelief. I just saw him a few weeks ago and he was happy and healthy. I'm pretty numb today...

I also am admittedly baffled. So many people seem to be dying lately while my mom still breathes away, trapped in her bed, consumed by Alzheimer's, ticking away almost 2 years on hospice. It's confusing and frustrating and unfair in so many ways.

So. I'm baking so we can have a treat, and then I'm going to take half the muffins to my uncle's wife too. I am so worried she'll feel alone in all this... I am having a hard time putting myself in her shoes. I am terrified to lose Chris too soon...

So today. I bake. I try my hand at revamping a recipe to make it plant-based.

Zucchini muffins

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees

2. Peel a zucchini and shred 1 cup worth

3. Sift together - 3/4 c. flour, 1/4 teaspoon baking soda, 1/4 teaspoon baking powder, 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

4. Stir in 1/3 cup maple syrup

5. Stir in egg substitute (either 1 flax egg or I used 3 Tbsp of JUST "egg")

6. Slowly stir in 1/4 cup melted coconut oil (I didn't want to scramble that fake egg...)

7. Stir in 1 cup shredded zucchini

8. Stir in 1/2 cup chopped walnuts

9. Stir in 1/4 cup chopped dates*

10. Add 1/4 to 1/2 cup allergen free chocolate chips (as desired)

(*The original recipe called for cranberries instead of dates and no chocolate chips. I also subbed syrup for sugar.)

Take an ice cream scoop and a spoon and scoop to fill 12 muffin tins about 3/4 full. I just bought some silicone cupcake sleeves and am trying those for the first time. Harvey picked them out so it's an exciting way to get him to try the muffins when they're done!

Bake them at 350 for 20-25 minutes. Try to remember to set the timer....I forgot!

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